Momniscient Musings Blog

They're Back!

If you listen closely, you can hear moms across the country breath a collective sigh of relief… The kids are back in school!

As much as we love our children, and have fun spending quality time together at the park, the beach, the library, the movies, bowling and putt-putt golf, some of us are more than ready to reclaim a few hours of time for ourselves. There are days over the summer where I feel like a one- woman social director on a cruise ship, whose job it is to provide non-stop entertainment. (Other days I feel like I should be wearing a red, rubber nose and giant clown shoes and rent myself out for birthday parties.) By the end of the summer, I’m ready to take a mini vacation to recuperate from the rigorous “playtime” spent over the previous two and a half months.

It’s not just stay-at-home moms who are glad to see the school year roll around. My friends with careers have their own set of challenges about their kids and summer vacation. “I could have practically paid for college for my daughter rather than sending my son to camp all summer.” I hear them lament over the high price of camps and daycare.

The education administrators, who are trying unsuccessfully to convince the public about year-round school, are going about it all wrong. Instead of extolling the virtues of “ the continuity of learning” and the “power of retention”, all they really need to do is time the vote strategically. If they took a vote for year-round school on the last day of summer vacation, it would pass with flying colors.

Until then, however, I’m going to sit back and say a small prayer that our kids are back in school to learn about the three R’s. Meanwhile, I’ll be practicing my three R’s: Relaxing, Recharging and Reclaiming some time for me.

Entertaining For The Domestically Challenged 8/8/07

If my cooking prowess had to be summed up into a bumper sticker, mine would read: “I don’t make dinner, I make reservations.” Although I would consider myself a fairly accomplished woman, cooking is not a skill that would even be mentioned in the top ten list of things I do well. This presents somewhat of a quandary for me, because as much as I detest cooking, I love to entertain. How, may you ask, can the two coexist under the same roof? Hint…a little pre-planning and a lot of frozen food is involved.

Entertaining is a like an elaborate magic show. If there is music, decorations and ample libations (this is the equivalent to the smoke and mirrors used by magicians to distract the audience from their slight of hand) then, your guests will have a blast and leave happy, never realizing that the food preparation received very little of your attention.

It is easy to entertain when you choose a theme for your party. Whether it’s a summer Luau for seventy or an Italian dinner for eight, having a theme will provide you with some direction. You must create the tone of your party from the onset. The invitations you select let your guests know what is in store for them. Having a Mexican Fiesta? Send a small bottle of Tabasco attached with twine to your invite. Having a Japanese dinner? Get a small take-out box and fill it with several candles shaped like Sushi. You get the idea. Showing that you intend to have fun is paramount.

Depending on the theme you select, you have the opportunity to develop the ambiance with music and decorations. Having a Cuban dinner? Get a hot, salsa CD, dress the table in placemats of bold orange and lime or perhaps hire someone to roll handmade cigars. Having a Middle Eastern dinner? Make sure to have lots of colored pillows strewn across the floor and perhaps a belly dancer could make an appearance? If hiring entertainment is out of your budget, don’t fret. It’s amazing what the right music, a few paper lanterns and well-placed flower arrangements are able to do to transform your living room into an oasis.

As for the food, there is an extensive variety of frozen food at your fingertips in your local grocery store. Don’t feel like you are obligated to make everything from scratch. Mix a few homemade items that you can make the night before, with several frozen dishes or dishes prepared by a gourmet shop and “Voila”…you heat and serve and there is your party.

Although I have alluded to the role that alcohol plays to enhance the mood of your guests, it is not a necessity. If you have “virgin” Mojitos or Shirley Temples, most of the time your friends are just happy that they had an excuse to get out of the house to play. So, stop stressing about the fact that you are not a chef. Don’t let a little thing like not being able to cook stand in your way of having a good time!

Where’s The Time For Me?

So many of my friends who are Moms seem to be lamenting over this particular question. Time seems to evaporate during the day. Between work; seemingly endless loads of laundry; trips to the dry cleaners; grocery shopping; car pool runs; cooking dinner and assisting with homework there seems to be no time left for good ‘ol Mom. Time is a commodity more valuable than gold. So, how do we get some for ourselves?

Nike had it right when they said, “Just Do It.” Just as you would schedule any other errand or responsibility, you have to schedule time for yourself. Setting aside time for you is not selfish; it is self-preservation. It is essential to your well- being and, in turn, fosters the positive growth of your family. When you are recharged and reenergized, you are better equipped to be a nurturing Mom and spouse. You’ve heard of trickle down economics? Well, this is trickle down family dynamics.

So, drop the guilt and allow yourself a minimum of twenty minutes a day to do something for you and only you. I know what you are thinking, “Twenty minutes? I can’t seem to have five minutes to go to the bathroom without children or pets pawing at the door!” The funny thing is, when you schedule the time, just as you would a doctor’s appointment or a teacher’s conference, it becomes a priority and you shift your other items in order to accommodate the additional “Me-Time.” In your calendar, block off twenty minutes for a  walk, a relaxing bubble bath; reading a mystery novel; making yourself a Momosa (my version of the traditional Mimosa) ; doing yoga…whatever it is that will help you unwind and reconnect with your inner spirit.

“Beginners” should shoot for twenty minutes per day. Then, when you become better at me-time management, you can expand the blocks of time to an hour. For the very adept, these hour blocks can occasionally grow to include Mom’s Night Out with girlfriends or a weekend escape.

Moms, the time has come to make sure you land somewhere near the top of our own “To-Do” list!

Images: Getty Images